Some will argue that choosing the same venue as a friend or family member is just as bad as wearing the same dress while others are comfortable getting married at the same venue the week after! Whichever side your on, there is one thing that is clear: Choosing the same wedding venue as a family member is like stepping into an emotional mine field, one wrong step and an explosion of hurt feelings, anger, or whatever other negative emotions there are cause your closest friend, or even a whole side of the family to be torn apart – possibly forever.
Three Strikes and You’re Out!
In general, if you copy more than 3 things you’re looking for trouble. It’s okay to have the same venue, and white table cloth as Debbie, but have the same venue, table cloth and pink tulips and you’re in for a wave of insults, hurt feelings and name calling. This rule only applies to the little things, you can’t go copying your *aunt’s niece’s daughter’s wedding theme and colors!
You may be wondering what is a little thing and whats a big thing? Well, I’ve got good and bad news for you. The bad news is that there is no real answer to that question. The good news is that you can always ask a friend or family member what’s okay with them and what their thoughts are.
*I’m fairly certain this is a long, complicated way of saying your 1st cousin once removed, but feel free to correct me in the comments below!
The Rule of Different Seasons
Kathy, from the Earle-Harrison House and Pape Gardens, says: “Spring and Fall adds another layer of unique, the seasons, especially w/ an outdoor venue are different.”
Different is good, especially when you are choosing the same venue as someone close to you! A good rule of thumb is to wait until the next season or the next year. So for example, If Susie is having a Spring wedding, you may have a Summer, Fall or Winter wedding. Alternatively you could wait until next year’s Spring.
What to do When Your Friend (or Family Member) is Upset About the Venue Choice
According to a poll posted on weddingbee.com, only 81% of people think it’s okay to have a wedding at the same venue as a friend or family member. So while there is a fairly strong chance everything will be okay, there will be people who get upset with you, and if they do, here’s what to know:
- You have every right to use the venue you like most. Even if it’s the venue someone else has chosen.
- Cross Guests (guests that show up to both weddings) won’t mind attending both weddings because they are there to celebrate the unison and not the venue!
- Try to be respectful and calm telling the other person that you like the venue for XX reasons, that you won’t copy their theme or colors or anything and so their wedding will still remain unique.
- Try and flatter them and compliment them saying that they have good taste, and that the venue is just so beautiful/romantic/other positive adjective, but make sure you have or are reassuring them that the wedding will be decorated/themed differently.
If you absolutely have to choose another venue, and you’re located in Texas, click the button below to search through hundreds of wedding venues simply and effectively!