Unless you want to end up like this woman (who had 80 bridesmaids!) you better learn how to tell someone they aren’t in your wedding party.
First off, let’s set the record straight:
Nobody should expect to be in your wedding party, but everyone is going to expect it anyway. The sad reality for you, is that unless they’ve already been married, they’ll expect to be a bridesmaid. So, with everyone wanting to be in your wedding party, how do you let them know they can’t without losing any friends?
A Clever way to tell someone they aren’t in your wedding
One of the easiest ways to let those you care about down easy, is to make your intentions clear from the get go. Be open and honest, and say that you want a small wedding party. A perfect time to let them know this is at your engagement party. Clearly say something like “I’m not planning on having a big wedding party.” when given the chance. Try to make it loud enough that those in earshot can hear, but don’t be obvious about your intentions for saying it.
What to do when someone gets hurt
There will always be that one friend who gets hurt. Even when your wedding party is just your sister and the grooms brother. It’s even worse when you have a larger party! Here’s a few options that you can use for when someone does get hurt by your decision not to include them in the party:
- Take your friend (or family member) out to lunch or dinner and explain your reasoning for not including them in your party.
- Include them in a different way. For example: you could have them do a toast or a reading.
- Focus on affirming your friendship
Some other things to consider
Don’t feel tied down by wedding traditions. Weddings have been loosening tradition for years now, and I think it’s safe to say you are free to make your special day however you like. Don’t feel like you need your sisters or brothers in the party, don’t feel like an uneven party would be the end of the world and don’t be pressured into choosing a particular bridesmaid or groomsman by a friend or family member.