A lot of time, money, and planning go into making a wedding happen which limits how many plus-ones can be allowed. Both the couple and the guest need to be understanding and caring. Since it’s the couple’s big day, it should be both special for them and remain in their budget, which means they may limit plus-ones in order to allow the guests closest to them attend. However, guests don’t want to be miserable and lonely because their loved ones aren’t there. Weddings are meant to be enjoyed by everyone and celebrate the start of the couple’s life together.
So, with that in mind, here are the some rules for both the couple and guests:
The bride and groom need to make sure the invitation is set up correctly so people know whether they are able to bring guests and if so, how many guests they can bring. This is best done by writing the list of people invited by name on the invitation and then adding how many guests or plus-ones may be brought at the end. Another way is to write “and guest” alongside the specific people who you’ll be allowing to bring a guest.
When it comes to the wedding party, they should always be allowed a plus-one. Allowing a plus-one will show them the couple’s gratitude for helping with the planning, stress, and giving support.
If the couple isn’t allowing plus-ones for certain guests, make sure to plan so they have an enjoyable experience at the wedding. Don’t have all the single guests stuck at one table, but seat them with friendly people that they have something in common with or already know. It will allow everyone to have a nice time and encourage people to meet one another.
If guests reach out to ask for a plus-one, the couple needs to stand their ground. They already talked about it and planned everything out according to who was invited. Replies should be calm and kind saying that it is an intimate gathering and that they are sorry. Sticking to the plan will allow couples to keep the wedding how they planned and wanted.
Guests need to be respectful of the couple’s wishes. Often times, it may feel upsetting, but if the couple did not offer a plus-one, don’t be offended as it’s not personal. They likely are on a tight budget and need to limit the number of guests at the wedding.
If you’re offered a plus-one and can’t think of someone to bring, then you can choose to go solo. Just ensure that you write that you’ll be attending alone on the RSVP so that the couple knows to plan accordingly.
If you are bringing a plus one, it may make it easier on the couple if you write the guests name on the invitation. This will assist them if they are personalizing items at the wedding such as putting names at seats for guests.
If your guest has to cancel, don’t bring a new guest. The couple probably made placement cards and planned the seating arrangement carefully, a new guest could throw things off and the couple might get upset even if the headcount is still the same.
Being offered a plus-one means the couple chose you to have a guest over others so be sure to show that generosity in return with your gift. Your guest shouldn’t feel obligated to give a gift if they don’t know the couple, just make sure you show your appreciation and the couple will be happy in return.
Couples and guests all want to be happy, so just be considerate and reasonable and enjoy the event.